Me and the dybbuk blues

2006-08-28T10:43:00.000-07:00

A few months back, I dated a girl who stands about four feet 7 inches in height. She does this anti-folk kinda thing, and sings cute songs about quirky stuff.
Its cool.

When I saw her live, she did a cover of Big Punishers "Im not a player"
which I had heard a billion times, but never knew the lyrics to. Imagine my surprise when I saw this girl that comes up to about my chest sang the following lyrics.

"I ain't a player, I just fuck a lot
Jump on top of my dick and work them hips, until I bust a shot
It doesn't stop, I'm only beginnin I'm bonin your women
While you home all alone, I'm blowin up in em
Sendin them back to you, mad at you
Don't catch a motherfuckin attitude
I'm just showin you how this rapper do
Capital Punishment, when I'm up in it, suckin it
Bustin it out, nice blouse, let me unbutton it
You're fuckin wit King Papi Chulo when knockin culo
Pop your mulos out the socket tryin to ride with the sumo
You know my rise is high, word I be drillin em
Bitches be tryin to ride but the current be killin em
Fillin em with the cash, my cheese premium unleaded
Come get it, first wreck the ton, then let the Pun hit it
Split it in half, watch the gas, baby take a bath
Be good, I might put away the wood and give you the mustache

I bang a stranger in my torture chamber, feed the locas tocha pinga
while I force my finger where my bollas linger
I bring the pain like Method, when I flex and flip the coochie
Puerto Rican to the core, but no Boriquas eat the pussy
'Scuse me for bein blunt, but I've been eatin cunts
since pimps was pushin pink Caddies with the fish tank pumps
Bumpin and grindin simultaneously grindin
Climbin up the walls, with my balls, bangin off your hymen
I'm a diamond in the rough (UHH) bustin in your face
Taste the sweetness of my dick, rip your fetus out of place, yo
Bitches already know the repertiore
Step in my car, lets start the menage-a-trois, like Escobar
By far, I'm the best at all sex positions
Forget the kissin, I'm skippin the tongue twistin, see extradition"

I wrote this letter to heaven after I read the lyrics with my own eyes

Dearest Big Pun

I know you are in heaven, but why cant you be more like Mr. Tupac and live, even after death?

Love
Jay Diamonds

So I never got a reply, but I did get a sign in the response from a little known group from Atlanta called Outkast. The writing was in the gosepel of a song called "we love deez hoez". Please read the first set of verses.

"Don't lie you love them, if you don't you like them hoez a whole lot
Just like your mama Sunday cookin' turkey necks in the pot
You ready to drop your load like prop planes be droppin' that cocaine
You ready to turn your fro, from natural straight to a cold wave
Dat hoe name Betty Big Shoez, she wore them Herman monster heels
Popped a pill, now she's in your Coupe De Ville, passenger seat
I made her eat my meat while I was rubbin' her coochie
Injection in her top and bottom lip straight from her booty
So Do Re, blow me, Fa So La Ti Da Ha I'm tellin' the truth
You suckin' your tooth you treatin' her like a star boy
From a Figueroa to a herringbone
From droppin' her off to takin' her home
She tried to pull my rubber off with her pussy muscles that was wrong
The bitch is no good like lesbians with no tongues
You fucked around and knocked her up and now you say she the one
Nigga you dumb, you should have pulled it out and squirted on her eyelash
And let her face be holdin' the baby, now she after yo ass!
Yeah, I told y'all niggaz
about god damn takin' them hoez to the Cheesecake Factory
Lettin' them hoez order strawberry lemonade and popcorn shrimps
They ain't goin' do nuthin'
but try to take all your motherfuckin' cheese"

Personally I think "I made her eat my meat while I rubbed her coochie" is the best line EVER.

Thats all. Schools back in session Im listening to Sonic Youth. Yay!

2006-08-23T17:09:00.000-07:00

Let the bodies hit the fucking floor.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/eo/20060823/en_tv_eo/19833

Im sure you know what I want to ask.
What about MY tribe? Huh?

This might be the end of the world as we know it.

2006-08-22T20:54:00.000-07:00

Who needs a matchmaker anymore? You can go on Craigslist, and join the zionist bukakke party (thanks Aaron!)

This was deleted, however thanks to some smart thinking by my friend, it is now placed on this blog forever and ever until the end of the internet.

PLEASE READ THE AD COMPLETELY AND FOLLOW INSTRUCTIONS.
(we posted as w4m because we're looking for hetero guys)

FIRST - DON'T REPLY to this ad if you're gay. We do HETERO Gangbangs, so you would not enjoy our events. Nothing personal :)

This is a gang bang club for clean-cut, professional, and IN-SHAPE Jewish men. We hang out and gang bang girls together, in addition to hanging out, networking, etc. We are in touch with our heritage and proud to be Jewish men. And we come together to team up on pussy gang bang style. Comaraderie and khavura. We are NOT just looking for guys who want to get laid. We are looking for guys who want to be a part of a brotherhood, a true team.

We, as a brotherhood, stand shoulder to shoulder with Israel in these very difficult times. Am Yisrael Khai!

If you're interested, please reply to this ad. Our group is for clean-cut professional Jewish guys in their 20's or 30's, who are good looking, in good shape, AND PROUD TO BE JEWISH. We get a lot of fakes replying to our ad, so if you want to be considered SEND A FACE PIC WHEN YOU REPLY.

Yes, a face pic. No exceptions. We know some will think we are "collecting pics," but we know we're for real, so we don't care what people think :) We also don't care what the dude "flagging" and "deleting" our ad says - we know we're real and have the events under our belt to prove it. The guy posting that we are fake is someone we rejected, and we have evidence of that.

Lehitra'ot!

So. Im almost speechless on this one. Almost.
A Jewish gangbang.
Okay. Yes. Speechless. Enjoy.

2006-08-16T22:05:00.001-07:00

The simple rule I have always stuck to in terms of music is
1. Bob Dylan
2. Velvets
3. 13th floor elevators
4. Leonard Cohen
5. Sabbath
6. Stones

Im a huge music dork. I have loads of records, but I kinda consider those the basics. In that order.
However, there is one band that kinda hovers over them all. If you liked comic books in the 80s, its sorta like during Secret Wars. There were the good guys, the bad guys and then there is the shit that is from another universe that really doesnt give a fuck about that shit.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secret_Wars

So, I make that comparison because I did a lot of drugs in high school and I think my mind is still clouded a little bit.
However, in the "secret wars" of music, Big Star is that band that gives very little fuck about all the other shit.
How do I know? Well, I dont. I like to sound smart.
In truth, they were just a band, that put out 2 of the greatest pop records ever. As great of songcraft as The Beatles or the Kinks. As sugar sweet perfect as The Ramones or The Archies (I am typing this with a straight face.) and totally the end all say all best power pop band of them all.
Cheap Trick. I fucking LOVE them, but they arent Big Star.
Badfinger. Amazing. Nope.
Raspberries? Neh.
Groovies? Sorry mang.

Why? Because Big Star can sum up every fucked up emotion. Take how I am feeling as of late.

"Wont you let me walk you home from school
Wont you let me meet you at the pool
Maybe friday I can
Get tickets for the dance
And Ill take you

Wont you tell your dad, get off my back
Tell him what we said about paint it, black
Rock n roll is here to stay
Come inside where its okay
And Ill shake you.

Wont you tell me what youre thinking of.
Would you be an outlaw for my love
If its so, well, let me know
If its no, well, I can go.
I wont make you."

The song is called "Thirteen". Yes, it was written by a 20 something and maybe it sounds a bit creepy when you take it in that context, but...
THATS THE FUCKING SONG!. Romantic? Yes. chessy, fuck yes sir! Heartfelt? Lord have mercy.

If you listen to one of the three Big Star albums, or the Chris Bell solo album and dont connect to at least ONE of the songs, Im sorry. You lack soul.

There is really no reason for this rant. Ive had a wonderful day. I just think Big Star is the most underrated band of all time.

Hey I can do this!
Its called "how I earned my college education"
http://video.yahoo.com/video/play?vid=5cc41a33df474cf5092dc7ccca14a6fc.694089&cache=1

2006-08-09T08:18:00.000-07:00

Here is the August mix cd. Hit me up if you want one

1. T Rex "Calling all destroyers"2.Deep Purple "You fool no one"3. Wimple Winch "everybodies worried about tommorow"4. Oakley Hall "Having Fun again"5. Rev. Gary Davis "I belong to the band-Hallejulah"6. Francoise Hardy "Le temps de in mour"7. Pink Mountiantops "I (fuck) mountiantops)8. John The Revelator "Worried Dreams"9. Frijid Pink "Sing a song for freedom"10. Dead Meadow "Lady"11. David essex "rock on"12. Lungfish "Love will ruin your mind"13. Pere Ubu "Modern dance"14. Crystal Stilts "Converging in the quiet"15. Peter Bauman "Bicentenial present"16. Leathercoated Minds "Puff the magic dragon"17. Poppy Family "free from the city"18. Cat Stevens "If you want to sing out"

2006-08-08T03:32:00.000-07:00

.Whats Dub got to do with it?.

Saddness to me is a bar that you really like, going downhill.
You think, "its New York, there are THOUSANDS of bars".
This is quite true, but to really find a bar that caters to specific needs like mine, especially while being in the neighborhood Im in, is rough.
Actually, those specifications arent that bad.
1. Low Key. When I say low key, I dont mean nobody goes there. I mean moderate crowd weekdays, gets busy but not disgusting on weekends.

2. Good drink prices. I learned to drink in the midwest. Cheap American beer is my fuel. 2 dollar PBR's, hell yes. 3 dollar Bud's fuck yeh brother! 5 dollar Schlitz and a shot of jack, I wont fight that feeling.
What does not count, 3 dollar Amstel lights, 2 for one Rolling Rocks, Michelob Ultra and a shot of wheat grass. Nope. No. Sorry. Nah.

3. The crowd. Diversity is cool, but when I have a bar that I go to on a regular basis, I am a bit of an elitist. Seeing cute girls playing Scrabble, that might be the sign Im down. As sad as it is, "Williamsburg looking" people (but not TOO WILLIAMSBURG looking). I say Wiliamsburg looking people, because I have found that the "Williamsburg looking" people have evolved and turned into the Mishapes-L.E.S. looking fools, and they tend to stayaway from Brooklyn. So, I would rather go with the lesser of two evils.
What the fuck am I talking about?

4. Jukebox. Are you kidding me? Most of the time, jukebox beats the hell out of DJ. Im talking 7 out of 10. However, the jukebox is a really pickey thing. I wont go into specifics however, because I have already used the term "Williamsburg people". Might I just say that good jukebox me one time, get me back a second.

5. Bartenders. I really REALLY REALLY!!!! dont want Tom Cruise or the Aussie dude from Cocktail. Whatever you do, dont try and win me over with your bullshit bartender good guy schtick, UNLESS You are over 50, and have been in the borough since a baseball team other than the Yankees won a World Series. You are better off either being friendly and making conversation or just slinging my fucking beer at me. Girl bartenders, please dont try and BRO-DOWN with me. Dudes, dont take your fucking shirts off (with the exception of two people who I know are great bartenders and can rock not wearing a shirt)

6. Sluts. Yes. I mean those sluts. By them I mean no hoochie bartenders. They are just depressing.
Above the belly Motorhead t shirts, short shorts, or even worse, bartending in your bra (I have seen it several times). I have seen the real bar and the movie Coyotee Ugly. I dont want you dripping herpes in my vodka and lime.
Am I stupid for not wanting a skeezy bartender? Yes. Maybe. But you know what makes a bar even more depressing than it usually is, all the drunk douche bags pining over the barmaid who cant pour a jack and coke to save her life.

7. Pinball. Have pinball. Big Buck Hunter is NOT pinball. Ms. Pacman is fun but is NOT pinball.

8. Buybacks. If I visit your establishment enough, after every two drinks, maybe buy me one back? I dont think thats asking that much. Im not drinking top shelf martinis.

For a while I had a bar like that. A place where nobody really knew my name. Where nobody gave a crap that I came. Every Monday was pinball night, and sometimes, on the weekends, I would find myself going there to sit out in the garden and take in the night among my fellow 20 something Brooklynites.
With 2 dollar soy dogs (that took at least 10 minutes to make. Which is okay due to the fact that they have soy dogs) and a jukebox that just would not quit, plus one of my favorite pinball machines, and a lack of overall drunk douchebags and Polish thugs I had no problem dropping some cash at the establishment.
As of late, something there has really been bothering me. Dub.
I love dub. Dub dub dub dub dub!.
However, dub is not what I want to listen to all the time while drinking at a bar. Mix it in! Gems like Young Marble Giants, The Basement Tapes, Charlie Feathers, BIG STAR all are or have been on the julebox, but for some reason when nobody plays anything, all I get is dub, and sometimes. How much money do I need to spend to make it stop? Im poor. This is why I want buybacks.
Next up pinball. The machine has gone to shit. My friends and I drop at least ten bucks a night into that machine, and now the left flipper doesnt work. COME ON! Thats a total weak spot.
Bathrooms. Im not a priss. But no lights in the bathroom? Take care of that shit you punks.
Okay, also Monday nights, drink specials? Please??
Last, this goes against my rules, but can we get some sluts up in here? Its like all dudes, and the girl bartneder, who has self-respect and doesnt look like a skeezer. Lets work on that.

Deep down, I would love to boycott the bar. Tell them "Hey, your shits going downhill. Make it stop."
Maybe set up a little protest out front or on their patio. Strum a guitar. Sing some folk songs. Get some people on the bandwagon. Start a revoloution.
Of course that wont happen, so I will do the next best thing, keep going there until I find something better. The bullshit is high in New York. Even higher in the bars, so I guess Ill stick to the lowest level of bullshit and quit bitching.

Ill start bitching about how they want to discontinue more service on my train. The G train.
Fuck you MTA!!

2006-08-01T05:11:00.000-07:00

Mel Gibson is a pussy.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20060801/ts_alt_afp/afpentertainmentusfilm_060801002335

If you are going to hate on the Jews, dont be a pussy and back out and say you said those things because you are a raging alcoholic. That excuse works for why you made those last two "Lethal Weapons" but you had the clarity to make Braveheart. Which is a pretty fucking rad movie.
Bastard.
Anyways, if for some reason he ever reads this, Im toally going to boycott his next project "Protocals of zion. The musical"
Pussy.

2006-07-28T05:03:00.000-07:00

Thank ya Jesus!!!

Okay, maybe not Jesus, but this week the people that know him in their hearts. Bless em.

1. Something you just dont see as much anymore are the Christian preachers on the trains. Now all you get is crackheads selling dead batteries. I for one am a bit sad about this. I remember being on a train when I was a kid, and this total hellfire and brimstone preacher got on the train and started screaming how this "UPTOWN TRAIN IS HEADED STRAIGHT DOWN TO HELL!!!!"
A few years later, and old man, walked up and down a Red Line train headed into Chicago, handing out something that would change my life. Chick comics.
I love Chick comics more than many things. Jack Chick and his people, seemed to love Jews
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1000/1000_01.asp
and thinks Muslims are going to hell.
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1031/1031_01.asp?wpc=1031_01.asp&wpp=a

I guess we have something in common.

Im joking. Jerk.

There are a few scattered memories. The most recent one involves a 6-2 ex crackhead preacher who looks more like a linebacker than a preacher. He is ripped as all hell. Pretty intimidating looking. Big hulking black dude.
A week or so back, he came on the A train as I was listening to songs off the Goodbye Babylon comp on my headphones (which is maybe the most amazing box set I have ever heard) http://dust-digital.com/goodbye-babylon.htm if you dont know it, please look at the site. I found the music to be very appropriate to the company. Even tho at the time I had no clue what was going on. I just figured he was asking for money, I should give him some. Of all the people on that train, I seemed to be the only one. He pointed at me and flashed me the peace sign.
Then got off at the next stop.
2 Days later, same train, same situation. This time however, I didnt have my headphones on.
Usually, the first things people begging for change on the the trains say is "EXCUSE ME LADIES AND GENTLEMEN" then they hit you with the story of how they have AIDS and need money to buy medicine so they dont crap their pants, or they are saving money to buy back their 2 kids that they lost in a card game.
This guy went right into it and in a in a voice that totally matched the man said "PEOPLE, its time to wake up. Call yourself good Christians? I called myself a good Christian also, when I was a crack head. Id sell my momma up the river for a blast."
This guy had totally had my attention.
"My soul is being saved people. The king is gonna come down and judge us all. Gonna decide where we go for ALL ETERNITY!"
Then he started to rattle off stats.
"People, everyday over one hunder fifty thousand people day EVERY DAY. If you are going to be one of those people, where are you going to spend eternity? I know where Im going to be. Walking in the steps of my lord and saviour, JESUS CHRIST!"
This guy had me wanting to start speaking in tounges and fainting all over the place. He was on fire. A fire burning with the passion fuel of JESUS CHRIST-A!
I gave him a bunch of change. Again, one of the only people to do so. My man however, had me hooked, so I followed him onto another train, and once again same deal, and once again, I gave him cash.
What I didnt notice is that my over siazed Magen David necklace that I wear, and is the gaudiest thing I own was hanging out in clear view. When I dropped the change he smiled at me and started saying out loud, "MY JEWISH BROTHER! YOU SEE PEOPLE THIS IS WHY THEY ARE THE PEOPLE OF THE LAAAAWD!" He leaned in closer and said "Jesus has a special place in his heart for you."
Amen.

The Christians I like are the totally eccentric ones. Otherwise, I think they are full of shit.

A good example, the guy who came up to me in Washington Square and handed me a Jesus pamphlet and made a comment about my Velvet Underground shirt
"Nico found out about Jesus, but it was too late."

Also this guy
So dumb.

Number one on my list is anybody that believes this.

LA-LA-LAAAAME!

Weed river
Some of you know my love of the Black Mountian-Pink Mountiantops collective. I think they are the top dogs around. Last year Black Mountian record is one of my favorite of the last 5 years, and the new Pink Mountiantop is top 5 of this year.
The only contenders to group of people putting out a good amount of music on this level (the stoned level) that I will buy if they are on the record are the dudes in Comets on Fire.
In the last month I have heard not only the new Comets on Fire (its out in like a week), which is fucking mindblowing, but also the new Six organs of Admittance record "Sun Awakens" by Comets Ben Chasny has to be one of the most (excuse the corny review lingo) haunting albums I have heard sincem well the last Six Organs album. Its got Tim Green (Nation of Ulyses, Fucking Champs, producer of like every good west coast band) doing some weird tone stuff on there. Totally great.
The Comets domination is rounded out by Ethan Millers side gig with one of the guys in Sunburned Hand of the man, Howlin Rain. Its on Birdman.
Moby Grape-Greatful Dead-California dreamin stuff going on. I think, maybe its because I have heard albums by Comets and Six Organs, that this is the one on the top of the heap.
There are so many other side projects these guys do like Colossal Yes, Badgerlore, as well as guesting on everything from Ghost to Sun City Girls to Current 93.
Damn. A few years from now the world is going to catch up to these guys.

Im excited. In the next few weeks I will be seeing Red Krayola with White Magic (need to hear their new album) also Neko Case, Joanna Newsome and, Martha Wainright at the pool in Williamsburg.
For the first show, Im actually more excited to see White Magic. I love Parable of Arable land. Think it is one of the finest psych records to come out (also, God Bless the Red Krayola and all who sail with it is pretty fucking fine), and some of the stuff on Drag City in the 90's is hit or miss. For the most part Im a huge fan of Mayo Thompson but Im going to have to be in the mood for it live.

The Neko Case, Joanna Newsome, Martha Wainright show, Im pretty psyched about for two reasons.
1. A good percentage of the hot girl population in Williamsburg will be there.
2. Not only am I a big fan of Neko and love Joanna, Im starting to come around to Martha and her brother Rufus Wainright also.

So yeh. Ill be there.

Is anybody else annoyed with the hype Wolfmother has been getting? I talked a lot of good shit about them to anybody that would listen for the EP that came out in late 04 or early 05 (Im getting old) but the new LP sucks. Also I saw an aricle that said the following
WOLFMOTHER: RETURN TO ROCK

Can we stop returning to rock please? Its lame.

Im currently really into the movie King Ralph starring John Goodman.
Dont ask me why, I find comfort when it comes on television. The jokes about English desserts (Spotted dicks), totally priceless.
For some reason I really wanted to post a picture of him. When I looked up images from the film I got this.

Party dog.

Fuck yes.

2006-07-25T09:33:00.000-07:00

Kaballah is sooooo on its way out. Bring out your inner-Thor! I kinda cut this one up to make it easier.

Paganism gaining popularity in prison By KRISTEN GELINEAU, Associated Press Writer

STAUNTON, Va. - A pagan religion that some experts say can be interpreted as encouraging violence is gaining popularity among prison inmates, one of whom is scheduled to be executed this week for killing a fellow prisoner at the foot of an altar.

Michael Lenz is scheduled to die Thursday for the death of Brent Parker, who was stabbed dozens of times at Augusta Correctional Center during a gathering of inmates devoted to Asatru, whose followers worship Norse gods. At his trial, Lenz testified that Parker had not been taking the religion seriously and had to die to protect the honor of the gods.

Asatru has been gaining popularity among inmates, say religious leaders and prison experts who believe its roots in Viking mythology attract prisoners seeking power, protection and unity.

An estimated 10,000 to 20,000 people in the United States consider themselves Asatruars or Odinists, said Stephen McNallen, director of the Asatru Folk Assembly, a leading Asatru group.

Asatru is often associated with white supremacy, although most Asatru leaders bristle at suggestions of such a relationship.A 1999 FBI report on domestic terrorism described Odinism as a "white supremacist ideology that lends itself to violence.""What makes Odinists dangerous is the fact that many believe in the necessity of becoming martyrs for their cause," the report said.

"There might be some white supremacists who consider themselves Asatruars, but they're not (Asatruars) because they're not following our beliefs," Ruck said. "We don't hate anybody; we just want to take pride in our heritage."

So what Im being told is that people that like to worship norse gods might also lean towards white supremacist beliefs?
Who else was really into this stuff?

Uncle Adolf. His turn on's of course included soul sisters, Delta blues, pigs feet and Borscht belt humor. He really liked that joke about his childhood being so bad he was breast fed by his father.

Also, black metal celebrates all that pagan stuff

Stupid norse worshippers. They should be good Christians like Johnny Htoo.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060725/ap_on_re_as/myanmar_god_s_army

That kid creeps me out.

They should try worshipping real Vikings

JAAAAAPAAAAAAN!!!!!

Ive been pretty obsessed with Flower Travelin Band Before Guitar Wolf were pulling the badass Yakuzzabilly look and before Acid Mother Temple lived on a farm and did a bunch of drugs to while making 22 records a year, F.T.B. were busy covering Black Sabbath and King Crimson. Im not going to write an article about them, you can google that shit.

Today in the Times there was an article about Chineese nomads that ride around on motorcycles, and heard their yaks with them.
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/07/25/world/asia/25nomads.html?_r=1

Thinking about these 2 things made me think of something, America has really dropped the ball on bad ass motorcycle riders. I mean we still have the Hells Angels and other gangs, but Asia is kicking our asses. We have weekend warriors. Bankers who buy "hogs" and leaher gear. Meanwhile, in Asia they drop acid and ride around naked or herd YAKS!

Mellow dude.

This is a Crazy Horse summer. Their record "Crazy Moon" has been my obsession. I think you can find it pretty cheap. All Crazy Horse with or without Neil Young is tight.

Also the new Primal Scream "Riot City Blues" is fucking great. Last year, I really liked Black Rebel Motorcycle Clubs "Howl" album (After hating most of their other stuff), the first song on the Primal Scream album "Country girl" is the song of the summer, and blows anything BRMC did on that album.

What always cracks me up about Primal Scream is how good they are when they have such corny song titles. They have one called "Were gonna boogie" and its total T Rextacy. They have some psych, some punk, boggie woogie doo dah, etc. Its a total rock record. Not perfect, but waaaay better than most.

2006-07-21T05:49:00.000-07:00

.Nasty.

So I started this new blog. My old one I liked to write about 3 things, 1. things I found totally odd or awesome 2. music and number 3 my life, which also could go under number 1. Why mess with that? Pretty easy.

My friend Michael, likes to describe things as "dark". A good example, My boss-single mother has a totally flaming roomate who works at my coffee shop told us that her daughter told the roomate "if you didnt like boys, you would be my mommys boyfriend."
"Dark"
Another example. This really great guy we work with was drinking with us during happy hour. We talked about mutual love of the Dead Boys (who doesnt love them?) then left only to go to a sports bar owned by our boss, and stayed there from 7 till close.
"He closed a sports bar. Dark."

What is weird is I always expect him to label something as "dark" but it never gets old. The darkness never seems to phase him, he just lets it roll off.
The other day I came into work to see him looking at disgust at the computer mumbling "dude, craigslist "rants and raves" so dark."
A tiny look of fear was in his eyes. Like he opened some kind of box of demons or something. I decided to not start a conversation about it, I was going to wait and find ut for myself.

Later that day, I decided to take a trip to the darkside of Craigslist. What I found in 15 minutes, was pretty crazy.

First, in light of the recent violence in the middle east, I found this one. Im pro-Israel obviously, but Im not into war or violence. I do however like reading peoples insane and "totally dark" views.

This one is called "Dealing with the Hamas and Hezbullah terrorists"

Once in US history an episode of Islamic terrorism was very quickly stopped. It happened in the Philippines about 1911, when Gen. John J. Pershing was in command of the garrison. There had been numerous Islamic terrorist attacks, so "Black Jack" told his boys to catch the perps and teach them a lesson. Forced to dig their own graves, the terrorists were all tied to posts, execution style. The US soldiers then brought in pigs and slaughtered them, rubbing their bullets in the blood and fat. Thus, the terrorists were terrorized; they saw that they would be contaminated with hogs' blood. This would mean that they could not enter Heaven, even if they died as terrorist martyrs. All but one was shot, their bodies dumped into the grave, and the hog guts dumped atop the bodies. The lone survivor was allowed to escape back to the terrorist camp and tell his brethren what happened to the others. This brought a stop to terrorism in the Philippines for the next 50 years. Pointing a gun into the face of Islamic terrorists won't make them flinch. They welcome the chance to die for Allah. Like Gen. Pershing, we must show them that they won't get to Muslim heaven (which they believe has an endless supply of virgins) but instead will die with the hated pigs of the devil.

This touching story is also followed up by a bunch of pictures of pigs and those drawings of Muhammed that sparked all those riots. Its worth looking at.
http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/rnr/184480775.html

While I think I understand the demented logic behind the post, it makes me think back to those touching stories during the holocaust when Jews were told to tear and spit on the torah or shave their sidelocks.
LAME!

So next up is one I really dig "if a guy lies about having a son, is it forgivable???"

ok. i've been talking/dating this guy for about a year now. its never been serious, just the occasional date and meet up for sex. i care about the guy, but we never made it official to be "exclusive" or "bf/gf".. which is fine. but we do share a bond and we did talk about a possible future together. i know we do care for each other for the most part. well, i found out the other day that this guy has a son!! i was shocked and really hurt. not so much that he had a kid, but that he lied and hid it from me for so long. i confronted him and he said that he was afraid to tell me b/c he thought i wouldnt even give him the time of day if i knew, which maybe true. the kid lives w/the mom is why i never knew about it when i went over to his place. well, we're not officially togehter or anything, but i am a bit upset. question is, should i continue w/this relationship or just let it go. how can i trust someone who lied to me about such a big thing. i was starting to like him more and was thinking of maybe being more serious in the future. but being that he lied about this, what other stuff can he be keeping from me?? he said this was the only thing he ever lied about, but who knows... should i forgive him or let this relationship go?? any advice would help. thanks!!

WOAH!!!! I think I know this dude. Im so serious!

Okay. The next one, totally fucking retarded. Its called "While sucking the devils cock on mount hira". " Its erotica. Full on erotica I tell ya!

While Sucking the devil’s Cock in A cave on Mount Hira,The prophet Mohammed(Peace be upon him) was approached by A Beautiful Prostitute named Amina. “How much do you want?” asked Mohammed. “One hundred Dollars for the Evening said Amina.”Well,if I am going to pay that kind of money,you must do it under my rules. “Ok, said the whore “as long as you are paying”. Mohammed said,”Okay,meet me at home in 30 minutes and we will blow out the lamp and do it in total darkness”That’s ok ,honey.Its your money.” When they met in the room,The prophet Mohammed really fucked her good.Then he said,”Let us rest for a few moments,”and then he started in again.The same scene was played for two hours.Finally after six encounters,Mohammed seemed even stronger than before. Amina said,”Mohammed you are the most fantastic customer I have ever had”.You keep getting better and better”. “Listen, lady,” said a voice.”My Name is Umar-ibn-al-Khattab. Mohammed is outside selling your ass to his followers for fifty Dollars a pop”.

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/rnr/184425121.html

Rad!

Now the best. On RANTS AND RAVES.
"I love being Irish"

where's my fellow lads?
Followed up with a picture of a four leaf clover.

Then like a bolt of thunder, a reply

RE:I love being Irish pic

at the bar, getting drunk. just like the scum Irish donkeys they are!

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/rnr/184425712.html

Darkness motherfuckers!

.YES!!!.

This writer, Sam Apple, fucking genius. One of the best writers around. I just read "Schlepping through the alps". Great read. The fiction work I also heard him do live was amazing. I wish I could find some of it. Like a weird twist on Isaac Singer. Here is his site

http://www.samapple.com/ and a great interview I found http://www.beliefnet.com/story/166/story_16638_1.html